oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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