She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We named our party play list daddy issues
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
