You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
