The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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