Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
