i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
