Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
