Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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