you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
