She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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