it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
