I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
