Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
