i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
