he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
