A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
