Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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