Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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