I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
