I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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