Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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