I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
