I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This is classic penis vs brain.
did you just send me my own nude
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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