yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
