I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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