Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
