Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
