I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
