trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
