Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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