i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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