Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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