there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
