In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
