I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Randomize
