I didn't shave. On purpose
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
