but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
