He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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