Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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