I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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