Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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