is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
vagina is talking i cant
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
