Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
