So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
