Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
