Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
