it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
