Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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