I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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