There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
