I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
