Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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